Dos and Don’ts of Good Co-Parenting

Licensed social worker and psychologist Dr. Miriam Galindo works in private practice in Irvine, California. In this capacity, she primarily works with at-risk children and families involved in high-conflict divorce cases. To assist her clients, Dr. Miriam Galindo provides such services as reunification and co-parenting counseling.

Below are several dos and don’ts of co-parenting:

- Do be consistent: Children need consistency, particularly when they are going between two different homes. For this reason, parents must maintain the same bedtime, mealtime, and chore schedule, so children know that rules are enforced regardless of which parent they are staying with.

- Don’t use kids as messengers: When it comes to communication between both parents, the child should never be the messenger. Instead, both parents must communicate with one another on a regular basis. At the same time, good co-parents never talk badly about their ex or their ex’s new partner in front of their children.

- Do be respectful: People wouldn’t agree to co-parent if they thought their ex was unfit to raise their child. Because of this, co-parents must respect their ex’s decisions about what activities their child can enjoy at their house, as long as those activities do not threaten or harm the child.

- Don’t sabotage relationships: Good co-parents do not attempt to sabotage their child’s relationship with their ex. This means they do not try limiting how much time a child spends with their parent or affecting the child’s view of their parent.